Danger- you are entering the dark side of training. We all encounter rough spots in training periodically and it apparently was my turn today. I have had a super busy week and felt really tired and "off" yesterday either from actually being tired or maybe fighting off a virus. I actually had a meeting out of town and made the decision to take the day off of training. I thought this might be enough to get me out of the red. I guess I was wrong. The busyness of the week led me to a very tough long ride this morning.
I hit the sheets last night before 9, knowing I was tired and getting emotionally about nothing so thought I would be doing myself (and my family) a favour if I went to bed. Hoped that a good night sleep would fix the energy and mood and Sat. would dawn in good spirits. A bathroom break disrupted the sleep at 4:30 a:m and roaring runner figured he would get on his bike early as sleep would elude him now. I laid in bed convincing myself that I would fall back asleep and starting a ride this early was beyond crazy. Only lasted about 1/2 hour and I was filling my bottles and pumping my tire.
The first 20 miles I pretty much blew my nose and wiped tears from my cheeks the whole time. What is wrong with me? I have no idea. I was so overwhelmed it almost seemed to take my breath away. This ever happen to anyone else? I just knew there was no way I was getting in 60 miles today and the distance kept shaking me mentally. Anyone who does long trainer rides knows they are like long treadmill runs; a real challenge mentally. Though I had podcasts to listen to and tv to watch, after awhile, nothing interests you. And since this feeling hit me quite quickly into the ride, I knew there may be no end to the trouble.
I spilled the beans to roaring runner about being in the cave of pain and he kept encouraging me and telling me I could do it. I am so thankful for his spirit! Rarely does he ever get overwhelmed and discouraged by challenges. It just makes him work harder and dig deeper. I spent the next 20 miles only looking at "now" and constantly repeating "just one more mile."
By the final 20 miles, I had resigned myself to the fact that I needed to finish this and could see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
A short 2 mile transition run was needed after the ride and getting off my butt felt so good, the 2 miles flew by.
And. I. Was. Done!!
Exhausted, thankful that I had survived this journey in the dark side. I just laid on the floor for a couple minute to count my blessings. The next time the dark, cave of pain comes around, I will have ammunition; an experience that I survived that will encourage me and keep me going when I have mentally checked out.
Roaring runner said to me "the difference between tri and triumph is an little umph." Just need to remember that tomorrow during my long run!
Anyone visit the dark side lately? How do you get out?
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