My mind has been overwhelmed lately with the speed at which time flies. I feel I do a pretty good job in staying in the moment. I work hard to soak up everything happening at each stage/time of life. But nonetheless, time dances along and I wonder if I could have done more to capture everything.
When my oldest son was 2 1/2, our family was joined by another boy and a girl. 3 kids under the age of 3 was hard work to say the least. I slept more in a rocking chair than my own bed, changed more diapers than washed dishes, ate more mushy puréed baby food than “real” food, my social life was watching Winnie the Pooh and the highlight of the week was getting out for grocery shopping.
5 years later I was volunteering on 3 committees, helped out at the kids school, teaching part time, spent every evening of the week plus some weekends at the skating rink with hockey or figure skating and had added another child to the crew. Time at home was a scarce commodity.
The double digits years (for the older 3) was a time of more independence for them and me. Still there were lots of commitments but the kids could clean, helped with jobs at the farm and make simple suppers. A bit of breathing room in the schedule. Running and biking for me occurred more consistently. We tackled more home and yard improvements.
The past 5 years have been the launching years for the older 3 kids. Time to spread their wings. We have been to 5 different cities to date as their studies have moved them. Helping move, clean, cook. But mostly offering support and encouragement as they handle the steep learning curve of dealing with adult life on their own. Some hard knocks for them. A lot of joy watching them come into themselves; taking part of their growing up years with us and combining that with their each unique personality to discover the things they love, believe in and figuring out how they will pursue life. Letting them go and keeping myself restrained to not calling or texting continually has been pretty tough. I don’t think I was ready for this to happen, but in truth, I am not sure I would ever be.
The youngest child just completed her first year of university. 2 of the older 3 are getting married this summer. They are choosing to spend their time with extraordinary people and I am bursting with happiness for them as this is the start of another part of life. I am so very happy our family is growing! But I am reminiscing the trips and time alone with each one of my children and I know that time may be passed now or at least morph into something else.
We are also in the stage of life where aging parents need us more. Health problems and trips to the city for appointments started about 7-8 years ago. The past 2 years have been about extended stays in the hospital, paneling for long term care facilities, learning a lot about Alzheimer's and worst of all; funeral planning. Aging is part of life just like birth just like death. We teach, support and provide for our kids, like our parents did for us, so they will grow up and be able to do this on their own. Everything is happening how life is supposed to go.
I just never realized how much I would miss the little things. How tough it would be to roll with the changes of life.
It took effort to remember challenges from each stage of our growing family. It is true that the good time seems to completely overshadow the hard times.
I remember the sweetness of the sleeping baby on my shoulder, little knees pulled up, head nestled into me and the amazing sweet smell of baby. I remember playing “farm” on the floor for hours with the boys with little tractors and implements and playing house with the girls with Dora and Polly pockets. The years of outdoor hockey in the winter, soccer and hitting pop flies in the summer. The many camping adventures with the 6 of us in the tent, sharing stories, the best part of that day for everyone and then planning the next days excursion. Calling my mother in law on the phone and hearing her special way of saying "hello".
We now are operating as a family of 9 rather than 6. We are blessed beyond measure.
I remind myself daily of how blessed I am because for whatever reason the floodgate of memories of time gone past constantly assault my memory. I don’t want to get nostalgic and weepy but I do want to acknowledge these wonderful memories. We have lost quite a few aging extended family members this past year as well as my mother in law. My father in law’s Alzheimer’s has since progressed more rapidly to the point of conversation being very challenging and I mourn that he is now unable to remember the fond events of his past, or of having a conversation that makes sense and I am already mourning the day when he won't recognize us. 3 of the remaining 4 parents/step parents have huge physical issues. It has been interesting sending the kids out where they need us less and dealing with our parents who are needing us more.
So what is the point of my walk down memory lane? A reminder to myself to really enjoy every moment. We are reminded daily in the lyrics of songs, death and tragedy and the turning of the calendar pages that life is short. We know this to be true but our actions don’t always show this. I need to stop deluding myself that there will always be another time for whatever it is that is happening. There is a last time for everything. The last diaper, cuddling with a book on your lap, riding with training wheels,
No matter how old my children are, how busy my life is, how overwhelming things sometimes feel, I want to live fully and completely.
Do not wish time away.
Embrace the big and small moments of life.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 9, 2020
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Try Everything
Good Morning
Heat wave in LA for the World Series and winter has said hello here on the Canadian prairies. Don't you love the unpredictability of the weather!
Today's agenda was making homemade Borscht Soup. 2 big pot fulls using fresh beets, carrots, celery, cabbage, onions and dill. Lots of cutting and chopping but it sure tasted good. Lots to put in the freezer for the winter.
I am doing some last minute packing for an event we are heading to tomorrow. We are driving to Grand Forks ND to attend the END TOMBED and END TRAILS events on Sat and Sun. 12 hours of biking on Sat and 12 hours of running on Sunday. We attended the END TOMBED event last year and you can read about it here. Finished 8 laps and the goal was 10. Hoping this year I can pull off the 10 laps. Going to be riding a more suitable bike and have a better game plan as well as a light for in the dark. Weather is supposed to be around 0 - 9 C so should be nice. Had my fat tire bike at the city last weekend to get my tubed tires converted to tubeless. Fastest 5 lbs I have ever lost!
Changing gears a bit- with having 4 children in 6 years, I have seen my share of animated shows. Disney everything around here for awhile. I thought maybe as the kids got older their love for those types of movies would give way to real life type shows. BIG misconception. Lots of animated movies still showing over here. Truthfully, great messages in these shows. Oh of course there is always a villain but isn't it refreshing in today's world to somewhere know that good always comes out on top?
On the way back from our camping trip this past summer I was driving and my daughter was riding shotgun, playing her 50 million favourite songs from her phone. " Try Everything" by Shakira was one that instantly became my favourite too. This was less than a week after completing Ironman Canada and I was still high on mountain air and ironman love. But I was also reminded how important it is for me to have goals, dreams and plans and to keep challenging myself, putting my feet at the starting line and striving to achieve these goals even if it means getting shut down, run out of town, falling on my face results. Keep trying.
Watched the movie Zootopia a week ago and loved the song even more. If you have not seen it, kids or not, watch it. At least watch the video clip below for the song. I bet you will enjoy it.
Had to also include the lyrics- motivating and positive.
Try Everything
I messed up tonight
I lost another fight
I still mess up but I'll just start again
I keep falling down
I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what's next
Birds don't just fly
They fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it won
I lost another fight
I still mess up but I'll just start again
I keep falling down
I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what's next
Birds don't just fly
They fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it won
I won't give up, no I won't give in
Till I reach the end
And then I'll start again
Though I'm on the lead
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
Till I reach the end
And then I'll start again
No I won't leave
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
Till I reach the end
And then I'll start again
Though I'm on the lead
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
Till I reach the end
And then I'll start again
No I won't leave
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
Oh oh try everything
Look how far you've come
You filled your heart with love
Baby you've done enough that cut your breath
Don't beat yourself up
Don't need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last but we did our best
You filled your heart with love
Baby you've done enough that cut your breath
Don't beat yourself up
Don't need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last but we did our best
Well on that note, get off the couch and go try something. Have a great adventure!
Thursday, October 5, 2017
My Happy Things #1
These happy moments are things might be things I am digging right now, events that are happening or a past memory that is on my mind.
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| Our treat after Challenge Peneticton's 34 C 1/2 Ironman triathlon. |
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| Vancouver, you took my breath away! |
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| Lunch with my guy at Jericho Beach. |
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| Ironman Canada- what a day! |
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| River fun |
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| Supper in the field with the kids and Grandpa and Grandma out visiting from the hospital. |
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| A family pic before the 3 older kids left for school. |
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| Apple pie making day! |
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| An easy Sunday morning fat bike ride with my husband. |
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| Walking in the backyard, enjoying the fall leaves. |
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| Spent 15 min in 12 ish C water helping get the dock out at the lake. So peaceful. |
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Quick Catch Up
Oh my gosh has it ever been a long time since my last post! Vacation, training and races, lots of catch up when I got home then moving 3 kids off to the city. So just a few words about each as teasers.
1. Vacation was a 2 week, 25th anniversary trip, with only me and my guy to British Columbia. Lot of fun in the mountains and by the ocean: 2 of our favourite places. No kids for about 9 or 10 days- I love my kids but it was heavenly.
2. Races kept us busy for 3 weekends in a row. A tad bit ambitious I know. Maybe common sense missed me when it was being handed out. Maybe even a bit more unbelievable is the fact that we didn't really taper for any of them but swam, biked, ran, hiked everywhere and anytime we wanted to. So hard to let an opportunity to explore pass me by. Challenge Pencticton for a half ironman triathlon the first weekend followed by Ironman Canada then Spoke 'n Hot Grand Fondo. Race recaps for each of them coming soon.
3. Catching up. Funny how the weeds in my garden didn't go on vacation like I did. Nor did the grass stop growing or the house stay clean. I always think it is a good thing I have a mental break from the everyday when I go away. A bit more vigor and enthusiasm to handle the challenges when I return. We also took over a rental house from my in-laws. A lot of cleaning, painting, removal of trees etc. I am pooped just remembering everything I did. No criticism intended to anyone in terms of cleanliness but man it sucks to have to clean up someone else's grime, grease, dirt and junk.
4. Kids moved to the city. We have always tried to get the kids settled in the city mid to late Aug. Later than that is really busy for us on the farm and it is so much nicer to get the moving out of the way a bit earlier. A weekend of loading, hauling, unloading, cleaning, organizing, more cleaning. But it is done. Normally, in my part of the world, school in the public system as well as most post secondary starts the beginning of September usually after labour day weekend. Now we can get home and concentrate on the start of our farm harvest.
Have a great week, enjoy some sun and laugh.
1. Vacation was a 2 week, 25th anniversary trip, with only me and my guy to British Columbia. Lot of fun in the mountains and by the ocean: 2 of our favourite places. No kids for about 9 or 10 days- I love my kids but it was heavenly.
2. Races kept us busy for 3 weekends in a row. A tad bit ambitious I know. Maybe common sense missed me when it was being handed out. Maybe even a bit more unbelievable is the fact that we didn't really taper for any of them but swam, biked, ran, hiked everywhere and anytime we wanted to. So hard to let an opportunity to explore pass me by. Challenge Pencticton for a half ironman triathlon the first weekend followed by Ironman Canada then Spoke 'n Hot Grand Fondo. Race recaps for each of them coming soon.
3. Catching up. Funny how the weeds in my garden didn't go on vacation like I did. Nor did the grass stop growing or the house stay clean. I always think it is a good thing I have a mental break from the everyday when I go away. A bit more vigor and enthusiasm to handle the challenges when I return. We also took over a rental house from my in-laws. A lot of cleaning, painting, removal of trees etc. I am pooped just remembering everything I did. No criticism intended to anyone in terms of cleanliness but man it sucks to have to clean up someone else's grime, grease, dirt and junk.
4. Kids moved to the city. We have always tried to get the kids settled in the city mid to late Aug. Later than that is really busy for us on the farm and it is so much nicer to get the moving out of the way a bit earlier. A weekend of loading, hauling, unloading, cleaning, organizing, more cleaning. But it is done. Normally, in my part of the world, school in the public system as well as most post secondary starts the beginning of September usually after labour day weekend. Now we can get home and concentrate on the start of our farm harvest.
Have a great week, enjoy some sun and laugh.
Monday, July 17, 2017
Training Update
Happy Monday!
Another wonderfully sunny day here in the Canadian prairies. I'm in the process of packing the camper to head out sometime in the next couple days. 2 triathlons in the next 2 weekends. Hubby and I getting away for a bit without kids was our anniversary plan. Always makes me both excited and nervous at the same time.
Nailed the last long ride of the training plan this past weekend. Didn't nail my hydration/nutrition plan though. Big bonk that took me almost 20 miles to get back on the good side. But I covered the 100 miles I wanted to, it was hot and I needed to find a way to pull myself out of the bonk. Lots learned and experienced. And as always, lots of mental hurdles to overcome.
My goal is always to empty my hydration bottle every 1- 1/2 hours. It has a combination of Generation UCAN Hydration, HydraMag and BCAA powder. I also planned to empty my nutrition bottle of Generation UCAN Superstarch 2x for the ride. I had a banana, peanut butter honey sandwich and quest protein bar. So what did I actually do and what would I do differently?
I didn't feel like eating before leaving in the morning and I should have had something. Terry ate some overnight oats. Should have had some too. I also needed to get on the hydration right away until the first stop almost 2 hours into the ride so that bottle was empty. I didn't eat my sandwich until the 1/2 way point and that was also too late. Needed that second stop sooner.
I did bring along a cooling cloth for the back of the neck and it worked awesome. It really helped me from overheating during my slump. It didn't get me over the wall but it did keep things from getting worse. We stopped 4 times to get water/bathroom. I did eat at each stop but needed to have had more right from the beginning I think. I should have also had a gatorade at our last water stop. I think that would have helped also.
Still planning to get 1 last long open water swim in today or tomorrow.
With my health being so uncertain the past couple months, I wasn't sure what to expect or hope for going into these next 2 weeks. I felt like I turned a corner to the good side about 10 days ago and so far it has been holding. For the first time, I have felt like being able to race both these triathlons is a very good possibility. I use the term "race" very loosely. In some ways, I am better prepared this year than for the ironman last year and in other ways, I feel less prepared. I do feel very confident though that for me, I am better a bit under trained than over trained. My energy is good, obviously there will be tough moments mentally; this is Ironman Canada which has 5000 ft of elevation change. My ride on Saturday was 3000 ft, pretty good for a prairie ride.
My goal is what will always it: enjoy the journey. Savour every moment and not wish time away and not let what is before me get the best of me.
Another wonderfully sunny day here in the Canadian prairies. I'm in the process of packing the camper to head out sometime in the next couple days. 2 triathlons in the next 2 weekends. Hubby and I getting away for a bit without kids was our anniversary plan. Always makes me both excited and nervous at the same time.
Nailed the last long ride of the training plan this past weekend. Didn't nail my hydration/nutrition plan though. Big bonk that took me almost 20 miles to get back on the good side. But I covered the 100 miles I wanted to, it was hot and I needed to find a way to pull myself out of the bonk. Lots learned and experienced. And as always, lots of mental hurdles to overcome.
My goal is always to empty my hydration bottle every 1- 1/2 hours. It has a combination of Generation UCAN Hydration, HydraMag and BCAA powder. I also planned to empty my nutrition bottle of Generation UCAN Superstarch 2x for the ride. I had a banana, peanut butter honey sandwich and quest protein bar. So what did I actually do and what would I do differently?
I didn't feel like eating before leaving in the morning and I should have had something. Terry ate some overnight oats. Should have had some too. I also needed to get on the hydration right away until the first stop almost 2 hours into the ride so that bottle was empty. I didn't eat my sandwich until the 1/2 way point and that was also too late. Needed that second stop sooner.
I did bring along a cooling cloth for the back of the neck and it worked awesome. It really helped me from overheating during my slump. It didn't get me over the wall but it did keep things from getting worse. We stopped 4 times to get water/bathroom. I did eat at each stop but needed to have had more right from the beginning I think. I should have also had a gatorade at our last water stop. I think that would have helped also.
Still planning to get 1 last long open water swim in today or tomorrow.
With my health being so uncertain the past couple months, I wasn't sure what to expect or hope for going into these next 2 weeks. I felt like I turned a corner to the good side about 10 days ago and so far it has been holding. For the first time, I have felt like being able to race both these triathlons is a very good possibility. I use the term "race" very loosely. In some ways, I am better prepared this year than for the ironman last year and in other ways, I feel less prepared. I do feel very confident though that for me, I am better a bit under trained than over trained. My energy is good, obviously there will be tough moments mentally; this is Ironman Canada which has 5000 ft of elevation change. My ride on Saturday was 3000 ft, pretty good for a prairie ride.
My goal is what will always it: enjoy the journey. Savour every moment and not wish time away and not let what is before me get the best of me.
Monday, July 10, 2017
Dear Diary
Anyone else out there want to confess they kept a diary like me when they were younger? I found those old diaries years ago in a box of my old stuff and tried to read some. I repeat tried. It was painful. The melodramatic ups and downs of teenage-hood of who was being rude to who and what guy was looking especially good or bad that day. I lasted 5 min. Decided to burn those books. They served their purpose I guess in the younger days of getting my thoughts and frustrations out but they certainly seem to have no purpose anymore.
Today's diary version looks a bit different. Most nights, just after I have crawled into bed, I reflect on my day. I have encouraged all my kids to do the same. In your heads I say to them start with "Dear diary, today I ........"
I have grown to love this 2 min conversation with myself. There is so much to gain and I am appreciative of how it has centered my thoughts and made me grow as a person.
Last night, this was my conversation with myself.
"Dear diary"
What a fantastic day today! Warm breeze from the lake blowing through my window and a gentle early morning 1/2 hour rain to lull me back to sleep a bit longer. No regrets that I wasn't on the trails somewhere running or biking, I am thankful to be up getting breakfast ready saying good morning to all the kids as they got up. So much fun to sit on the dock all together eating our breakfast and shooting the breeze. The lake was perfectly calm. I am thankful we have a cabin.
Had a great swim then just soaking some sun. Swim feels good after the gravel bike ride yesterday. Legs feel good and that makes me happy.
Hard to not get too sad about the fact this is the last time our family of 6 will be together for awhile. Precious moments. I am so thankful for these times with the kids. They are supposed to move on, take life by the horns and find their paths. I just miss them.
Said goodbye to some friends of ours from out of town, here visiting. I had a blast last night at their cabin (invited for supper). Friends like this, where you see each other 1 time a year and can pick up so easily where we left off- those are great friends. I think the dull ache in my side today was from so much laughing last night. Good pain.
And speaking of pain- today is the first day in a long time that I haven't had pain in my stomach. My ongoing fight with the intestinal infection and now just this week, a bladder infection has made for constant pain and discomfort. I am frustrated with my physical barriers, of being tired, of being in pain and most of all, of feeling I will not get past this and get better. The weight mentally feels overwhelming. But today, I feel so much lighter and happier mentally and physically. Worried it will not be like this tomorrow but thankful to have a reprieve today. Thank goodness I haven't also had my period this week:)
Reminded of how precious life is while visiting Terry's mom in the hospital this evening. She is so weak and secretly, I can't imagine how she will ever be able to go home. Home is such a safe place for all of us. I have to think of things to do or bring her to keep her spirits up. Also found out Terry's uncle was in emergency dealing with some difficulties after an accident he had a few weeks ago. Internal bleeding is never good. And on the congratulatory side, I marvel at another Aunt and Uncle and their celebration of 60 years together. His health has been really poor for a few years and yet has persevered.
My list of things to do tomorrow runs through my head:
people to call
emails to send
things to do
kindness to share
My internal diary entry once again fills me with gratitude. I am thankful that despite the fact things aren't always going the way I want them to go, I am undeniably blessed. There are so many hurting people and the trials don't pick and choose only some. I need to take care of business items, daily chores but more importantly, I am once again confirmed with the decision to love and take care of those around me. Touch others with kindness, enjoy every moment and live fully no matter the circumstances. I think ahead to the camping trip my husband and I are taking together in a week to celebrate our anniversary and I am filled with excitement with the adventures we are going to have. The desire to live a life abundantly and overflowing is all my eyes can see.
I know having teenagers and young adults means they have their own ways and thoughts and there is a good possibility they think their dear old mom has rocks in her head, but I hope they have the "dear diary" conversation with themselves and look at the day with gratitude and thankfulness and then choose to live the next day with purpose: to not waste time nor take it for granted.
Remind me to sometime share with you my "food analogy for dating story" that is a popular eye roller among the kids around here.
Today's diary version looks a bit different. Most nights, just after I have crawled into bed, I reflect on my day. I have encouraged all my kids to do the same. In your heads I say to them start with "Dear diary, today I ........"
I have grown to love this 2 min conversation with myself. There is so much to gain and I am appreciative of how it has centered my thoughts and made me grow as a person.
Last night, this was my conversation with myself.
"Dear diary"
What a fantastic day today! Warm breeze from the lake blowing through my window and a gentle early morning 1/2 hour rain to lull me back to sleep a bit longer. No regrets that I wasn't on the trails somewhere running or biking, I am thankful to be up getting breakfast ready saying good morning to all the kids as they got up. So much fun to sit on the dock all together eating our breakfast and shooting the breeze. The lake was perfectly calm. I am thankful we have a cabin.
Had a great swim then just soaking some sun. Swim feels good after the gravel bike ride yesterday. Legs feel good and that makes me happy.
Hard to not get too sad about the fact this is the last time our family of 6 will be together for awhile. Precious moments. I am so thankful for these times with the kids. They are supposed to move on, take life by the horns and find their paths. I just miss them.
Said goodbye to some friends of ours from out of town, here visiting. I had a blast last night at their cabin (invited for supper). Friends like this, where you see each other 1 time a year and can pick up so easily where we left off- those are great friends. I think the dull ache in my side today was from so much laughing last night. Good pain.
And speaking of pain- today is the first day in a long time that I haven't had pain in my stomach. My ongoing fight with the intestinal infection and now just this week, a bladder infection has made for constant pain and discomfort. I am frustrated with my physical barriers, of being tired, of being in pain and most of all, of feeling I will not get past this and get better. The weight mentally feels overwhelming. But today, I feel so much lighter and happier mentally and physically. Worried it will not be like this tomorrow but thankful to have a reprieve today. Thank goodness I haven't also had my period this week:)
Reminded of how precious life is while visiting Terry's mom in the hospital this evening. She is so weak and secretly, I can't imagine how she will ever be able to go home. Home is such a safe place for all of us. I have to think of things to do or bring her to keep her spirits up. Also found out Terry's uncle was in emergency dealing with some difficulties after an accident he had a few weeks ago. Internal bleeding is never good. And on the congratulatory side, I marvel at another Aunt and Uncle and their celebration of 60 years together. His health has been really poor for a few years and yet has persevered.
My list of things to do tomorrow runs through my head:
people to call
emails to send
things to do
kindness to share
My internal diary entry once again fills me with gratitude. I am thankful that despite the fact things aren't always going the way I want them to go, I am undeniably blessed. There are so many hurting people and the trials don't pick and choose only some. I need to take care of business items, daily chores but more importantly, I am once again confirmed with the decision to love and take care of those around me. Touch others with kindness, enjoy every moment and live fully no matter the circumstances. I think ahead to the camping trip my husband and I are taking together in a week to celebrate our anniversary and I am filled with excitement with the adventures we are going to have. The desire to live a life abundantly and overflowing is all my eyes can see.
I know having teenagers and young adults means they have their own ways and thoughts and there is a good possibility they think their dear old mom has rocks in her head, but I hope they have the "dear diary" conversation with themselves and look at the day with gratitude and thankfulness and then choose to live the next day with purpose: to not waste time nor take it for granted.
Remind me to sometime share with you my "food analogy for dating story" that is a popular eye roller among the kids around here.
Monday, June 26, 2017
Things I am Loving Lately- Food Edition
Morning
I wanted to share with you some of the things I am loving lately in the food/supplement world. I am all about building my body stronger and keeping my immune system healthy. But I have a budget, like everyone else does and I want to enjoy what I am eating/drinking too so nothing too expensive nor ugly tasting.
1. Progressive's Phytoberry is the grand slam when it comes to building the immune system. I mix 2 scoops full and put it into a 28 oz Popeyes bottle (where I buy phytoberry). It has a delicious berry flavour and mixes in really easily. It is totally my jam. Can't get enough, can't say enough good about this product. After hard training sessions, I always hydrate with a couple bottles of water with phytoberry.
"PhytoBerry is a highly concentrated berry based whole food supplement that is loaded with natural antioxidants. Featuring over 40 high ORAC value fruit concentrates, phytonutrients, essential fatty acids and herbal extracts, PhytoBerry is specifically designed to offer whole body antioxidant® protection. A single serving has the equivalent nutrient content of 6 to 8 servings of fresh fruit."
2. Brain octane can be mixed into anything. I have put it in my oatmeal, in smoothies, my husband uses it in his bulletproof coffee and I also add it into my water/phytoberry mix.
"Brain Octane is your go-to fuel source for performance. Brain Octane is naturally found in coconut oil in small quantities, and we concentrate it to provide you with the purest energy source possible. Brain Octane rapidly provides mental and physical energy, powering your day by keeping you satisfied and free from food cravings. Add it to your daily routine, and experience the state of high performance.
3. Moxie HydraMag is a very soluble, smooth, fresh and light tasting beverage that can be used before, during and after exercise. It's pomegranate flavour is amazing. It can be added to your favourite electrolyte mixture or used by itself. I use it mostly after I exercise and I have most certainly noticed an improvement in my recovery in terms of muscle tenderness/soreness and energy right after and the next day.
I am an ambassador for this company so go order some for yourself and use code LB15 to save 15% off your purchase.
"HydraMag® is formulated specifically for endurance athletes, and any athlete or individual questioning their Magnesium intracellular levels. Magnesium enhances exercise performance via increasing glucose availability in the blood, muscle, and brain during exercise. HydraMag® is a strategic solution for increasing your magnesium intracellular levels.
4. Great Lakes Gelatin Collagen Hydrolysate is added to anything and everything; smoothies, oatmeal, water/drink powder, warm beverages. Anything. It does not congeal but mixes in smoothly although it does take a little more shaking to incorporate it into water. I also use this after hard workouts to give my body more amino acids to make me strong like bull😉 I usually buy this product through Amazon or Iherb as it is easier for me in Canada.
"Beef Hydrolyzed Collagen is the unique combination of amino acids in concentrated levels that can promote healing and conditioning over other proteins especially for bone and joint health care. This low molecular weight protein is easily digested for healthy enrichment in minutes after ingestion. It will not congeal because it has been hydrolyzed for quick assimilation and improved hydration to the connective tissue. Collagen is important to nitrogen balance, now considered an anti-aging product as it supports age related cartilage damage, and collagen loss."
5.
5. Sambazon Acai Powder delivers all the benefits and taste of acai in the convenience of a powder. I have tried the Sambazon frozen packs to make my acai bowls but they aren't the easiest to find nor transport with long distances. Instead of the frozen acai packs, I either freeze the almond/coconut milk in ice cube trays or use more frozen strawberries and blueberries. Just thinking about it is making me crave one.
6. Quest bars- oh boy. Chocolate chip cookie dough and I have had a passionate love affair for more than 2 years and it doesn't seem to be fading. It is such an easy thing to grab as a snack or for whatever. It is always in my back pocket of my bike jersey on bike rides, always have 1 in my purse and usually in my desk at work also. The taste is so much like cookie dough but isn't too sweet. It is soft and some people say they put their bar in the microwave for a few seconds to really soften it like an out of the oven freshly baked cookie. My problem is that I love it so much right out of the package, I can't wait the 20 seconds for the warming process.
And along the line of bars, I also included the One bar in salted caramel flavour. It is really good also though nothing yet has outshone the Quest. It does make for a nice change and is my daughter's bar of choice.
7. I LOVE hemp. In everything, all the time, straight up and this Hemp Granola has totally hit a home run. Granola typically goes on my yogurt and since dairy and I are on a brief (I hope) hiatus, I wasn't sure I should even buy this. Holey cannolie- ate it right out of the bag. I tried it a couple times on my morning oatmeal and it was very tasty but gosh darn it tastes good right out of the package. I found this product at Costco.
8. This product is also a Costco purchase- Coconut Clusters. Coconut, chia seed, pumpkins seed goodness. A addictive but satisfying snack.
9. Nuts for Nature Seed Butter has been a nice addition to my morning oatmeal, in homemade protein balls, in a smoothie or in a sandwich. It has a nice mix of flavours of cashews, almonds, sunflower seeds and chia. Mild and tasty.
I wanted to share with you some of the things I am loving lately in the food/supplement world. I am all about building my body stronger and keeping my immune system healthy. But I have a budget, like everyone else does and I want to enjoy what I am eating/drinking too so nothing too expensive nor ugly tasting.
1. Progressive's Phytoberry is the grand slam when it comes to building the immune system. I mix 2 scoops full and put it into a 28 oz Popeyes bottle (where I buy phytoberry). It has a delicious berry flavour and mixes in really easily. It is totally my jam. Can't get enough, can't say enough good about this product. After hard training sessions, I always hydrate with a couple bottles of water with phytoberry.
"PhytoBerry is a highly concentrated berry based whole food supplement that is loaded with natural antioxidants. Featuring over 40 high ORAC value fruit concentrates, phytonutrients, essential fatty acids and herbal extracts, PhytoBerry is specifically designed to offer whole body antioxidant® protection. A single serving has the equivalent nutrient content of 6 to 8 servings of fresh fruit."
2. Brain octane can be mixed into anything. I have put it in my oatmeal, in smoothies, my husband uses it in his bulletproof coffee and I also add it into my water/phytoberry mix.
"Brain Octane is your go-to fuel source for performance. Brain Octane is naturally found in coconut oil in small quantities, and we concentrate it to provide you with the purest energy source possible. Brain Octane rapidly provides mental and physical energy, powering your day by keeping you satisfied and free from food cravings. Add it to your daily routine, and experience the state of high performance.
As soon as you consume Brain Octane, it is rapidly absorbed and changed into ketone bodies – providing instant energy to the brain without breaking down glucose from sugars or carbohydrates. Brain Octane produces 4x the ketone energy of plain coconut oil, and also supports healthy digestion and immune function.
Experience the power of using quality fats for fuel, keeping you full and focused for hours.
Contains at least 10x the (C8) Caprylic acid (14g) per Tablespoon as in one tablespoon of Coconut oil (1.4g).(+)"
3. Moxie HydraMag is a very soluble, smooth, fresh and light tasting beverage that can be used before, during and after exercise. It's pomegranate flavour is amazing. It can be added to your favourite electrolyte mixture or used by itself. I use it mostly after I exercise and I have most certainly noticed an improvement in my recovery in terms of muscle tenderness/soreness and energy right after and the next day.
I am an ambassador for this company so go order some for yourself and use code LB15 to save 15% off your purchase.
"HydraMag® is formulated specifically for endurance athletes, and any athlete or individual questioning their Magnesium intracellular levels. Magnesium enhances exercise performance via increasing glucose availability in the blood, muscle, and brain during exercise. HydraMag® is a strategic solution for increasing your magnesium intracellular levels.
Intracellular magnesium deficiencies contribute to; leg cramps poor digestion, low energy, tight muscles and twitchy eyelids."
4. Great Lakes Gelatin Collagen Hydrolysate is added to anything and everything; smoothies, oatmeal, water/drink powder, warm beverages. Anything. It does not congeal but mixes in smoothly although it does take a little more shaking to incorporate it into water. I also use this after hard workouts to give my body more amino acids to make me strong like bull😉 I usually buy this product through Amazon or Iherb as it is easier for me in Canada.
"Beef Hydrolyzed Collagen is the unique combination of amino acids in concentrated levels that can promote healing and conditioning over other proteins especially for bone and joint health care. This low molecular weight protein is easily digested for healthy enrichment in minutes after ingestion. It will not congeal because it has been hydrolyzed for quick assimilation and improved hydration to the connective tissue. Collagen is important to nitrogen balance, now considered an anti-aging product as it supports age related cartilage damage, and collagen loss."
5. Sambazon Acai Powder delivers all the benefits and taste of acai in the convenience of a powder. I have tried the Sambazon frozen packs to make my acai bowls but they aren't the easiest to find nor transport with long distances. Instead of the frozen acai packs, I either freeze the almond/coconut milk in ice cube trays or use more frozen strawberries and blueberries. Just thinking about it is making me crave one.
6. Quest bars- oh boy. Chocolate chip cookie dough and I have had a passionate love affair for more than 2 years and it doesn't seem to be fading. It is such an easy thing to grab as a snack or for whatever. It is always in my back pocket of my bike jersey on bike rides, always have 1 in my purse and usually in my desk at work also. The taste is so much like cookie dough but isn't too sweet. It is soft and some people say they put their bar in the microwave for a few seconds to really soften it like an out of the oven freshly baked cookie. My problem is that I love it so much right out of the package, I can't wait the 20 seconds for the warming process.
And along the line of bars, I also included the One bar in salted caramel flavour. It is really good also though nothing yet has outshone the Quest. It does make for a nice change and is my daughter's bar of choice.
That's the countdown of my 9 most popular favs right now. What's yours?
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Reminders of Our Strength
Like many other fitness/endurance/adventurer enthusiasts, I confess to loving my active wear.
If you need to borrow a pair of runners, I have you covered. Dress shoes not so much. It would be really hard for me to find more than 2 "dressy" combinations of clothing from my closet.
I have embraced the fact that I am a jeans wearing, hiking boots, leggings, wicking shirt kind of gal.
My favs come from many different companies. I will try to put together a post of my favourites. I love looking at what other people can't live without.
While we were in California a couple months ago and my husband and I were engaging in our favourite pass time- riding south on the PCH and stopping for coffee where ever we please. One day, I stumbled upon a new brand of active wear. I noticed this business a couple times riding past and today was the day to stop in and check things out.
I enjoy knowing the beginning of a company and especially how the name was chosen. There have been a lot of new and interesting retailers I have discovered in California; Coeur Sports, De Soto, Wattie Ink, Oiselle, Betty Designs, and Soas to name a few.
GRACEDBYGRIT is a company started by 2 women who wanted women to feel empowered and safe. What I love the most though is this quote that comes directly from their website.
"Every woman has experienced that difficult moment that she thinks might just break her. How we make it through those moments defines us. We have realized that our grittiest moments give us our grace. Every woman has been GRACEDBYGRIT."
Does that hit real close?
You hear a lot about having a mantra to get you through tough times. I don't exactly have 1 mantra that follows me wherever I go. Most of the time, I get my encouragement from the things surrounding me right then and there. My GRACEDBYGRIT delicious tank helped me muster up some grit and determination at mile 18 while running my marathon last month.
Or how about Oiselle.
"But perhaps most powerfully, it's been about celebrating a sense of freedom. And thus the name Oiselle (pronounced wa-zelle). A French word for bird, it alludes to that feeling of weightlessness that most athletes know and love. That sense of flight - when the legs go fast and the heart goes free."
When I wear my Roga shorts, I remind myself when my legs are tired that they are free, not tied down and they can fly. I see myself running with high legs, barely touching the ground as my feet fly. I swear, I find new energy.
My most favourite tri/biking shorts are from Coeur Sports. They are just plain awesome.
"Coeur is French for heart & the root of the word courage. And that’s what we put into our collections and our sport. As an athlete, you know that athletic performance is about so much more than genetic talent. Its also about heart. Heart is about digging deep and being mentally tough. Heart is what gets you to the finish line when all the body wants to do is lay down. Heart is at the center of the community and the friendships you find in sport. Heart is what makes you give back to the community that has given you so much. Everything we do at Coeur - from our designs to how we play a role in our community - should reflect our values and how we aim to conduct ourselves. "
Most miles during an Ironman triathlon need a reminder to be courageous and brave; to have heart.
These are just a couple of my favourite companies that produce awesome athletic wear that don't just perform well and fit right, but they make me feel empowered, strong, brave and remind me that anything is possible.
This is what I need to reflect on when I am in tough moments. This is what pulls me along when I want to slow down; what helps me get up when I stumble; and what keeps me thankful for the strength of my body and what it can do.
What are your favourite reminders of strength?
If you need to borrow a pair of runners, I have you covered. Dress shoes not so much. It would be really hard for me to find more than 2 "dressy" combinations of clothing from my closet.
I have embraced the fact that I am a jeans wearing, hiking boots, leggings, wicking shirt kind of gal.
My favs come from many different companies. I will try to put together a post of my favourites. I love looking at what other people can't live without.
While we were in California a couple months ago and my husband and I were engaging in our favourite pass time- riding south on the PCH and stopping for coffee where ever we please. One day, I stumbled upon a new brand of active wear. I noticed this business a couple times riding past and today was the day to stop in and check things out.
I enjoy knowing the beginning of a company and especially how the name was chosen. There have been a lot of new and interesting retailers I have discovered in California; Coeur Sports, De Soto, Wattie Ink, Oiselle, Betty Designs, and Soas to name a few.
GRACEDBYGRIT is a company started by 2 women who wanted women to feel empowered and safe. What I love the most though is this quote that comes directly from their website.
"Every woman has experienced that difficult moment that she thinks might just break her. How we make it through those moments defines us. We have realized that our grittiest moments give us our grace. Every woman has been GRACEDBYGRIT."
You hear a lot about having a mantra to get you through tough times. I don't exactly have 1 mantra that follows me wherever I go. Most of the time, I get my encouragement from the things surrounding me right then and there. My GRACEDBYGRIT delicious tank helped me muster up some grit and determination at mile 18 while running my marathon last month.
Or how about Oiselle.
"But perhaps most powerfully, it's been about celebrating a sense of freedom. And thus the name Oiselle (pronounced wa-zelle). A French word for bird, it alludes to that feeling of weightlessness that most athletes know and love. That sense of flight - when the legs go fast and the heart goes free."
When I wear my Roga shorts, I remind myself when my legs are tired that they are free, not tied down and they can fly. I see myself running with high legs, barely touching the ground as my feet fly. I swear, I find new energy.
My most favourite tri/biking shorts are from Coeur Sports. They are just plain awesome.
"Coeur is French for heart & the root of the word courage. And that’s what we put into our collections and our sport. As an athlete, you know that athletic performance is about so much more than genetic talent. Its also about heart. Heart is about digging deep and being mentally tough. Heart is what gets you to the finish line when all the body wants to do is lay down. Heart is at the center of the community and the friendships you find in sport. Heart is what makes you give back to the community that has given you so much. Everything we do at Coeur - from our designs to how we play a role in our community - should reflect our values and how we aim to conduct ourselves. "
Most miles during an Ironman triathlon need a reminder to be courageous and brave; to have heart.
These are just a couple of my favourite companies that produce awesome athletic wear that don't just perform well and fit right, but they make me feel empowered, strong, brave and remind me that anything is possible.
This is what I need to reflect on when I am in tough moments. This is what pulls me along when I want to slow down; what helps me get up when I stumble; and what keeps me thankful for the strength of my body and what it can do.
What are your favourite reminders of strength?
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Randomness
and I guess hello mosquitoes😞
Hope everyone had a great long weekend. May long weekend is the official kickoff to camping in Canada. All you lucky people that got to enjoy the great outdoors, camp fires and smores, I am so jealous! I hope to get to the lake one of these days to get some cleaning done before summer so we can really just go enjoy ourselves when we are there.
#farming2017 has been in high gear getting our crops in the ground, harrowing, picking rocks and such and we couldn't have had nicer weather.
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| Filling the seeding tank with seed and fertilizer |
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| Me taking a water break while picking rocks and boy did I need it. |
The "baby" of the family got her learner's license. So proud of her but also sad for me for the reminder that I am getting older.
She was also involved in a huge high school drama production of "The Lion King". What an amazing job they did and what a huge undertaking it must have been for those organizing.
This drama and farming is what conflicted with our tentative plan to attend Spruce Woods Ultra. It was the right thing to miss the ultra this year. Really still hope to run it sometime. Need to get this body of mine on the right track first.
On that note, the training has still not been going well. Thankfully, I am kinda past the point of pure and complete exhaustion. The kind where it is so very difficult to get myself out of bed so obviously have no desire, energy or ability to do much activity. I have had a few short bike rides and a longer ride on gravel on Sunday. I was feeling a bit better but as per our usual, we get exploring and the miles tick along until I pretty much hit bottom. It was a day that was meant for riding all day- warm temperature, few bugs, not much traffic, low wind and a chance to unwind and spent time with my husband. I felt very unwell the rest of the day as a result of my overexertion though.
 |
| Love this old barn |
I captured this picture on Mother's Day- who could ask for more?
Any safer suggestions on how to get magpie's to pack their bags and move out?
And finally, a really nice evening in the back yard with the dog.
With seeding soon to be complete, hopefully, I will posting a bit more frequently. I am planning to share what has been happening to me health wise and the plan I have for the near future. I hope that if anyone else has also been on a lost train of confusion (in terms of weird health issues) that I can share my story with the goal of helping one of you.
Have an amazing week.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Rocky's Motivational Punch
I hate to start anything out on a negative note because I am a really positive person but I need to get this off my chest.
I have been pretty discouraged.
In the dumps in fact.
The stomach infection that took me YEARS to figure out and then months to get rid of is back.
Insert big, heavy sigh.
This is way more complicated than a 2 week dose of antibiotics. It affects my entire body in so many ways and takes a ton of effort in a lot of areas to get back on track. It will change my training and affect my day to day life in pretty big ways.
I wasn't going to bring this up. I thought I would just bide my time until things starting feeling better and my emotions were a bit more in control before I shot out a blog post. Like who really wants to spend their free time reading a blog post about someone who is scraping the bottom of the barrel? Heck, I don't think a day goes by that we all aren't faced with some conflict and negativity. No one wants more of it.
I changed my mind about staying quiet about it when I realized there is more to this story than me being a debbie downer.
I have a challenge to face, a mountain to climb, a demon to fight, a wall to bust down. And I will do it one step, one stone and one brick at a time. With that will come a soul that will be empowered, a new sense of awareness, more strength, courage and determination. I will find more pieces to my puzzle. This part of the journey might not be of my choosing but I am confident that there will be many gains along the way.
In 2016, I had the most amazing year as I could train, race and live "like a normal person" having energy, health and a body that did what I wanted it to do. For the first time in a long time. And it was awesome.
Some of my recent discouragement was thinking that would be gone. I love adventures and have a few of them planned for this year and I was already mourning the loss of them or maybe what they could have been.
Don't do that. It's stupid to mourn something that isn't dead yet. There is time and things can change. It might not but it might. I need to remain positive and concern myself with things coming up when they come.
Life doesn't come to us without obstacles. I sometimes used to wish for that red easy button you see on the Staples commercials and could just push it and everything would be good, done, just how you want it. It would be that easy.
But life doesn't always deal cards fairly and add to that a mixture of genetics, environment, stress, relationships and other factors and you sometimes get the perfect storm.
A storm that changes it's appearance steadily; to some it is a physical storm like an infection, autoimmune disorder, cancer, or heart troubles. To others it may be a relational storm that leads to divorce, estrangement, issues with your kids or troubles at work. Or it may also manifest in an individual as unhappiness, anxiety or depression.
A few things through all this tie us as together as people;
1. we are not alone, people everywhere are experiencing difficulties (even if it looks like they have their crap together) so take strength and comfort in number.
2. we all have the same questions to answer- "Will I let this ______define me? I may fall but am I getting back up? Am I going to remain positive and thankful or become jaded and bitter?"
3. the journey continues and our choice in how we live will influence and affect countless numbers of people
My favourite words of encouragement have always been from Rocky.
I have watched the Rocky movies years ago. I can't remember that much about each movie and I it has been my plan to spend some winter trainer rides re-watching. It hasn't happened yet but will someday. He can pack quite a motivational punch (no pun intended) about the tough moments in life, about choices in life and about being a fighter.
I have been pretty discouraged.
In the dumps in fact.
The stomach infection that took me YEARS to figure out and then months to get rid of is back.
Insert big, heavy sigh.
This is way more complicated than a 2 week dose of antibiotics. It affects my entire body in so many ways and takes a ton of effort in a lot of areas to get back on track. It will change my training and affect my day to day life in pretty big ways.
I wasn't going to bring this up. I thought I would just bide my time until things starting feeling better and my emotions were a bit more in control before I shot out a blog post. Like who really wants to spend their free time reading a blog post about someone who is scraping the bottom of the barrel? Heck, I don't think a day goes by that we all aren't faced with some conflict and negativity. No one wants more of it.
I changed my mind about staying quiet about it when I realized there is more to this story than me being a debbie downer.
I have a challenge to face, a mountain to climb, a demon to fight, a wall to bust down. And I will do it one step, one stone and one brick at a time. With that will come a soul that will be empowered, a new sense of awareness, more strength, courage and determination. I will find more pieces to my puzzle. This part of the journey might not be of my choosing but I am confident that there will be many gains along the way.
In 2016, I had the most amazing year as I could train, race and live "like a normal person" having energy, health and a body that did what I wanted it to do. For the first time in a long time. And it was awesome.
Some of my recent discouragement was thinking that would be gone. I love adventures and have a few of them planned for this year and I was already mourning the loss of them or maybe what they could have been.
Don't do that. It's stupid to mourn something that isn't dead yet. There is time and things can change. It might not but it might. I need to remain positive and concern myself with things coming up when they come.
Life doesn't come to us without obstacles. I sometimes used to wish for that red easy button you see on the Staples commercials and could just push it and everything would be good, done, just how you want it. It would be that easy.
But life doesn't always deal cards fairly and add to that a mixture of genetics, environment, stress, relationships and other factors and you sometimes get the perfect storm.
A storm that changes it's appearance steadily; to some it is a physical storm like an infection, autoimmune disorder, cancer, or heart troubles. To others it may be a relational storm that leads to divorce, estrangement, issues with your kids or troubles at work. Or it may also manifest in an individual as unhappiness, anxiety or depression.
A few things through all this tie us as together as people;
1. we are not alone, people everywhere are experiencing difficulties (even if it looks like they have their crap together) so take strength and comfort in number.
2. we all have the same questions to answer- "Will I let this ______define me? I may fall but am I getting back up? Am I going to remain positive and thankful or become jaded and bitter?"
3. the journey continues and our choice in how we live will influence and affect countless numbers of people
My favourite words of encouragement have always been from Rocky.
I have watched the Rocky movies years ago. I can't remember that much about each movie and I it has been my plan to spend some winter trainer rides re-watching. It hasn't happened yet but will someday. He can pack quite a motivational punch (no pun intended) about the tough moments in life, about choices in life and about being a fighter.
Monday, May 1, 2017
Weekend Roundup and a Weird Anniversary
Hello May! and holy mackerel where did April go to?
We had a smashing good weekend. Had all 4 kids home together for a few hours, celebrated my husband's birthday, went on my first road bike ride this year early Sat morning, did a bit of relaxing and made a good dent in the yard/house spring cleaning.
It was fantastic to get back on the road bike again. It was only a month ago while away on vacation that I rode it almost everyday. In fact, I rode 500 miles in the 2 weeks while I was away.
My bike missed me I could tell.
The ride was a bit cool with temp just over the freezing mark but with little wind. I wore gloves instead of mitts- bad decision but I survived and still have all 10 digits. Toes got pretty cold on the way home even with toe covers but they survived too. I have 2 black toe nails from my marathon a couple weeks ago so maybe they are toughening up.
Hubby's birthday cake was a peanut butter cup pie. It was the first time I made this particular recipe and I was skeptical about the filling but after licking the spoon and then the bowl, I knew it was a winner. I will be making it again.
On the training front- I have to confess, things have been pretty sporadic. I feel like I am just not on my feet again and recovered from my cold. I am still blowing my nose endlessly and just feel so tired out a lot of the time. It has been just over 2 weeks and quite frankly, I am getting tired of being tired. I need my energy back.
I had some nice runs and bike rides but they have been easy and I have stayed pretty close to home.
I was pretty darn serious about running in the Spruce Woods Ultra held on May 13th but my daughter is in a major drama production "The Lion King" at school and they are performing that weekend so we will be opting out of the ultra this year. I was a bit unsure about it at first but was truly disappointed when I found out the date of the drama and knew that I couldn't run. The drama is typically the 3rd weekend in May so I had not even thought about it interfering. Oh well. With the way I have been feeling, sometimes things just work out the way they are supposed to right?
A couple days ago marked the anniversary of my daughter having her wisdom teeth removed. Normally, this isn't really an anniversary to remember but later that day (2 years ago) after the extraction, she lost consciousness and suffered a concussion that has had lasting effects. The worst of these effects has been chronic migraines. She has had a headache everyday since her concussion and usually about once every month or so, suffers with a severe migraine that takes up to a week to break. Interesting enough, she is in bed as I write this, waiting for the migraine to break. It has been painfully hard to see my child suffer and have to rearrange her goals and plans for post grade 12 and her future. We have sought out medical assistance in every imaginable way to find few answers and no solution to her headaches. Last year alone, we travelled almost 11 000 kms to attend various appointments. Only to really be told to give it time.
A weird anniversary to think about and when she reminded me of it the other day, I told her I didn't want to talk about it or think about it. It was a horrible time and I still can't think of that 24 hours of stitches, ambulance rides, testing and her unbearable agony without getting really upset. I try to forget and here she is asking me to remember. I began to understand that in her mind and those who have also suffered injury, loss, rehabilitation or other life changing event, the anniversary marks something very special. She has had to fight really hard. Lots of appointments, constant road blocks and dead ends. Not to mention the loss of friends (who don't understand), the loss of her planned future and the loss of the the joy of young adulthood. It has been a real roller coaster. And somewhere deep inside, she has had to dig real deep, many, many times to stay positive and upbeat, to have patience and faith. The burden has been many times overwhelming and in her words she said "I have had a headache for 730 days but I have also been courageous, shown perseverance and been tested to my limits in those 730 days and I have survived."
So for those of you who are in the trenches and those fighting along side their loved ones- don't give up, stay strong and celebrate the victory of courage and determination. I think I will take her flowers and a Dairy Queen blizzard tonight and tell her how proud I am of her.
Hope you have a great day!
We had a smashing good weekend. Had all 4 kids home together for a few hours, celebrated my husband's birthday, went on my first road bike ride this year early Sat morning, did a bit of relaxing and made a good dent in the yard/house spring cleaning.
It was fantastic to get back on the road bike again. It was only a month ago while away on vacation that I rode it almost everyday. In fact, I rode 500 miles in the 2 weeks while I was away.
My bike missed me I could tell.
The ride was a bit cool with temp just over the freezing mark but with little wind. I wore gloves instead of mitts- bad decision but I survived and still have all 10 digits. Toes got pretty cold on the way home even with toe covers but they survived too. I have 2 black toe nails from my marathon a couple weeks ago so maybe they are toughening up.
Hubby's birthday cake was a peanut butter cup pie. It was the first time I made this particular recipe and I was skeptical about the filling but after licking the spoon and then the bowl, I knew it was a winner. I will be making it again.
On the training front- I have to confess, things have been pretty sporadic. I feel like I am just not on my feet again and recovered from my cold. I am still blowing my nose endlessly and just feel so tired out a lot of the time. It has been just over 2 weeks and quite frankly, I am getting tired of being tired. I need my energy back.
I had some nice runs and bike rides but they have been easy and I have stayed pretty close to home.
I was pretty darn serious about running in the Spruce Woods Ultra held on May 13th but my daughter is in a major drama production "The Lion King" at school and they are performing that weekend so we will be opting out of the ultra this year. I was a bit unsure about it at first but was truly disappointed when I found out the date of the drama and knew that I couldn't run. The drama is typically the 3rd weekend in May so I had not even thought about it interfering. Oh well. With the way I have been feeling, sometimes things just work out the way they are supposed to right?
A couple days ago marked the anniversary of my daughter having her wisdom teeth removed. Normally, this isn't really an anniversary to remember but later that day (2 years ago) after the extraction, she lost consciousness and suffered a concussion that has had lasting effects. The worst of these effects has been chronic migraines. She has had a headache everyday since her concussion and usually about once every month or so, suffers with a severe migraine that takes up to a week to break. Interesting enough, she is in bed as I write this, waiting for the migraine to break. It has been painfully hard to see my child suffer and have to rearrange her goals and plans for post grade 12 and her future. We have sought out medical assistance in every imaginable way to find few answers and no solution to her headaches. Last year alone, we travelled almost 11 000 kms to attend various appointments. Only to really be told to give it time.
A weird anniversary to think about and when she reminded me of it the other day, I told her I didn't want to talk about it or think about it. It was a horrible time and I still can't think of that 24 hours of stitches, ambulance rides, testing and her unbearable agony without getting really upset. I try to forget and here she is asking me to remember. I began to understand that in her mind and those who have also suffered injury, loss, rehabilitation or other life changing event, the anniversary marks something very special. She has had to fight really hard. Lots of appointments, constant road blocks and dead ends. Not to mention the loss of friends (who don't understand), the loss of her planned future and the loss of the the joy of young adulthood. It has been a real roller coaster. And somewhere deep inside, she has had to dig real deep, many, many times to stay positive and upbeat, to have patience and faith. The burden has been many times overwhelming and in her words she said "I have had a headache for 730 days but I have also been courageous, shown perseverance and been tested to my limits in those 730 days and I have survived."
So for those of you who are in the trenches and those fighting along side their loved ones- don't give up, stay strong and celebrate the victory of courage and determination. I think I will take her flowers and a Dairy Queen blizzard tonight and tell her how proud I am of her.
Hope you have a great day!
Monday, April 24, 2017
My Happy Place
It is April 24th and it is snowing here today 😩 and it is really windy and cold and it's Monday and I am really tired from a long weekend of cleaning and moving furniture and ......
It's not only during events that I need to dig deep and show determination, be positive and thankful and take each moment as it comes.
Sometimes life feels tough and you need to say your mantra a few hundred times.
So I go to my happy place. A spot that makes me feel free, content and alive. A place that makes me smile.
I have a few "happy" places. Some just in my memory and some in picture form.
So despite the external factors surrounding me today, this is where I am in my mind.
And I smile😃
It's not only during events that I need to dig deep and show determination, be positive and thankful and take each moment as it comes.
Sometimes life feels tough and you need to say your mantra a few hundred times.
So I go to my happy place. A spot that makes me feel free, content and alive. A place that makes me smile.
I have a few "happy" places. Some just in my memory and some in picture form.
So despite the external factors surrounding me today, this is where I am in my mind.
And I smile😃
Monday, April 17, 2017
I Did It and I Didn't
Happy Monday!
Marathon done!😊
But the time goal I wanted not done😞 I did my best but it wasn't in the cards.
Best wishes for those running Boston Marathon today. Wish I could say that was going to be me next year but not yet. Still thinking about whether I want to try again to qualify in the next few months or not. Race recap coming tomorrow.
Have a seriously awesome day!!
Marathon done!😊
But the time goal I wanted not done😞 I did my best but it wasn't in the cards.
Best wishes for those running Boston Marathon today. Wish I could say that was going to be me next year but not yet. Still thinking about whether I want to try again to qualify in the next few months or not. Race recap coming tomorrow.
Have a seriously awesome day!!
Thursday, April 13, 2017
The Morning Before
Well, it is the morning before my run. A full work day followed up by a 3 1/2 hour drive, hopefully a decent sleep, a 5:30 am wake up call and a 7 am marathon tomorrow morning. A few months of base training and 14 weeks of speed work, tempo run and long runs in my marathon training. A couple triathlons and a winter ultra bike event thrown into the mix. I hope I am ready.
My first stand alone marathon and probably the first race in a while, where time and pace have been so important.
The weather report for the day has flipped flopped all week long. This is what is currently being predicted for the 4 hours I will running:
Not ideal but neither is the fact that I have a sore throat, runny nose and a sore leg either.
I spent a few moments last night feeling sorry for myself.
And in all my self-pity and doubt I realized once again that I am focusing on the wrong things. Of course there is a million things that can go wrong, mess up my plans and blow me off course.
I have made a decision to chose to enjoy the journey of life though. Not just when the flowers are blooming and when things are going well but also through the rain clouds and dark skies.
This race is just one part of the trip. Things change up our plans all the time. It is my job to roll with it and stay focused on what I believe and how I want to live my life.
And I want to live joyfully.
So tomorrow I will take some cold medication, stuff my pockets with kleenex, wear some compression gear and run my little heart out, enjoying every moment, regardless of the outcome!
My first stand alone marathon and probably the first race in a while, where time and pace have been so important.
The weather report for the day has flipped flopped all week long. This is what is currently being predicted for the 4 hours I will running:
Not ideal but neither is the fact that I have a sore throat, runny nose and a sore leg either.
I spent a few moments last night feeling sorry for myself.
And in all my self-pity and doubt I realized once again that I am focusing on the wrong things. Of course there is a million things that can go wrong, mess up my plans and blow me off course.
I have made a decision to chose to enjoy the journey of life though. Not just when the flowers are blooming and when things are going well but also through the rain clouds and dark skies.
This race is just one part of the trip. Things change up our plans all the time. It is my job to roll with it and stay focused on what I believe and how I want to live my life.
And I want to live joyfully.
So tomorrow I will take some cold medication, stuff my pockets with kleenex, wear some compression gear and run my little heart out, enjoying every moment, regardless of the outcome!
Monday, April 10, 2017
Weekend Roundup and Calling all Marathon Veterans
Well, I have been home for only 1 week but Oceanside 70.3 last Saturday feels like a LONG time ago. Funny how "real" life can make a holiday such a distant memory.
What is very clear however, is the fact that there are many things in life that are tough and require more from us. I had a couple times during Ironman Oceanside that were hard. That's the way it should be in my thinking. Expecting to do a 70.3 and not dig deep at some point is unrealistic thinking.
A lot of details from that day may fade from my memory but the fact that I persevered and didn't stop won't fade.
And it is good that these thoughts are so vividly real as I need them this week.
I am running a marathon this Friday.
Can you keep a secret?
I am trying to qualify for Boston.
And I am really scared, nervous, excited,....
Is that the craziness of taper? The bouncing around between the great and scary?
Everyone in my house has a cold right now. Nurse Lesley was on call all weekend.
What's worse than a sick kid?
A sick husband.
What's worse than a sick husband?
A sick husband and 2 sick kids.
Hokey moley. Between the chicken noodle soup making, dimetab, nyquil, buckley's, deliveries, feet rubbing with essential oils, vapor rubbing on the chest and restocking kleenex- it's been busy.
I am so thankful this is the first time in a long while we have had colds.
So, my confidence is on the low side right now for being able to accomplish my goal. 3:50 marathon goal time. This will be my first stand alone marathon. Only ran a marathon while doing an Ironman.
The questions/reflections I have for the marathon veterans for the week before a marathon:
1. Is it normal to feel like crap?
2. Are the emotions supposed to be up and down like a bride's pj's?
3. Is there like a "Lead Fairy" that pours lead into your legs when you aren't looking?
4. Should you feel a bit more crazy than normal?
5. That email that came today that says I have another day left to switch from the full to the half= and I am giving it serious thought. Normal?
6.Checking the weather 6 x a day to see the forecast for Friday, not the least bit obsessive right?
7. I really, really want to eat a lot of ice cream!
8. I got a blister from my last easy run- a sign that this is not going to be?
9. Wondering why I can't be take up a sport like channel surfing or bird watching?
10. And finally, asking myself a zillion times a day who's stupid idea this was. Normal too?
Help!
What is very clear however, is the fact that there are many things in life that are tough and require more from us. I had a couple times during Ironman Oceanside that were hard. That's the way it should be in my thinking. Expecting to do a 70.3 and not dig deep at some point is unrealistic thinking.
A lot of details from that day may fade from my memory but the fact that I persevered and didn't stop won't fade.
And it is good that these thoughts are so vividly real as I need them this week.
I am running a marathon this Friday.
Can you keep a secret?
I am trying to qualify for Boston.
And I am really scared, nervous, excited,....
Is that the craziness of taper? The bouncing around between the great and scary?
Everyone in my house has a cold right now. Nurse Lesley was on call all weekend.
What's worse than a sick kid?
A sick husband.
What's worse than a sick husband?
A sick husband and 2 sick kids.
Hokey moley. Between the chicken noodle soup making, dimetab, nyquil, buckley's, deliveries, feet rubbing with essential oils, vapor rubbing on the chest and restocking kleenex- it's been busy.
I am so thankful this is the first time in a long while we have had colds.
So, my confidence is on the low side right now for being able to accomplish my goal. 3:50 marathon goal time. This will be my first stand alone marathon. Only ran a marathon while doing an Ironman.
The questions/reflections I have for the marathon veterans for the week before a marathon:
1. Is it normal to feel like crap?
2. Are the emotions supposed to be up and down like a bride's pj's?
3. Is there like a "Lead Fairy" that pours lead into your legs when you aren't looking?
4. Should you feel a bit more crazy than normal?
5. That email that came today that says I have another day left to switch from the full to the half= and I am giving it serious thought. Normal?
6.Checking the weather 6 x a day to see the forecast for Friday, not the least bit obsessive right?
7. I really, really want to eat a lot of ice cream!
8. I got a blister from my last easy run- a sign that this is not going to be?
9. Wondering why I can't be take up a sport like channel surfing or bird watching?
10. And finally, asking myself a zillion times a day who's stupid idea this was. Normal too?
Help!
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Home Again
I'm back- did you miss me?
Leaving you with a picture captured at my favourite spot along our "regular" biking route, just south of Carlesbad. It was the kind of day you never wanted to end.
Wow, do I have a ton to share with you. 2 weeks packed full of biking and running beside the ocean, a dip or two in the salty water bath tub, a couple triathlons, time in the great California sun and even a trip to see Mickey and Minnie.
More posts coming!
Leaving you with a picture captured at my favourite spot along our "regular" biking route, just south of Carlesbad. It was the kind of day you never wanted to end.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
California are you ready for me?
Last day of work for a couple weeks. Yahoo.
Vacation starting at 4 today and as my daughter says "Party starts now boys".
Leaving after school to drive to Regina. Staying with our son there so will get a quick visit with him before our 4:30 am alarm gets us up tomorrow to get to the airport for our 6:30 flight to California.
Very excited again to be going back to a place I am somewhat familiar with and therefore have desires and longing to see and do certain things. Can't wait to see the ocean from the saddle of my bike as I cruise down the PCH from Oceanside to Torrey Pines. Can't wait to hear the ocean, sand in my toes, to have California Almond Milk (strange thing to look forward to I know), to buy some of the delicious desserts at the Oceanside Street Fair/Farmer's Market.
Tomorrow will be a very full day with an early flight, however, it will be great to be in San Diego by noon. Rented vehicle to pick up and the always interesting task of getting our bike bags and luggage plus us in the vehicle. Last time (in Europe) I forgot to take a picture but it was both frustrating and hilarious. I will take a picture this time. We have a rented condo in a complex we have staying in before. Groceries, unpacking, bikes to set up.
Saturday we are heading to Coronado for package pickup/athlete check in for the Olympic Super Seal Triathlon that will be on Sunday. Nothing like kicking things off with a bang. The course looks breathtaking so I will try to take pictures.
A couple weeks for hiking, biking, running, sunning, Disneyland, Ducks Hockey, the famous "potato chip hike" are planned. Encinitas has a half marathon run on the weekend in between our 2 triathlons and I was yay at first then nay and I'm back again to a yay. Need to get in a 20-22 mile run that day so why no do it partly with a lot of people where there is some nutritional support and entertainment. Will see what my co-pilot wants to do. A couple long runs along the ocean will be 100 times better than the 3 hour run on the treadmill last Sunday.
Ironman Oceanside is on Saturday, April 1 and we will be flying back first thing Monday.
I have not decided yet if I am taking my computer so may have some posts or not in the next 2 weeks. I will have a couple race reports coming your way as well as some our adventures in SoCal.
Changing gears, I have until tomorrow to register (before fee increase) for an ultra in May. My biking friend from Actif Epica is registered and would like me (us) to come too. Hubby might be too busy doing his farming thing but he thinks I should go.
50 km, 50 mile, 100 km or 100 mile are my choices.
or maybe better said
silly, crazy, idiotic, or out of your freaking mind
hmm.
Will keep you posted.
If you are going on vacation in the next while- have a great time!!
Any tips/ places to eat/ places to go in the San Diego north area?
Vacation starting at 4 today and as my daughter says "Party starts now boys".
Leaving after school to drive to Regina. Staying with our son there so will get a quick visit with him before our 4:30 am alarm gets us up tomorrow to get to the airport for our 6:30 flight to California.
Very excited again to be going back to a place I am somewhat familiar with and therefore have desires and longing to see and do certain things. Can't wait to see the ocean from the saddle of my bike as I cruise down the PCH from Oceanside to Torrey Pines. Can't wait to hear the ocean, sand in my toes, to have California Almond Milk (strange thing to look forward to I know), to buy some of the delicious desserts at the Oceanside Street Fair/Farmer's Market.
Tomorrow will be a very full day with an early flight, however, it will be great to be in San Diego by noon. Rented vehicle to pick up and the always interesting task of getting our bike bags and luggage plus us in the vehicle. Last time (in Europe) I forgot to take a picture but it was both frustrating and hilarious. I will take a picture this time. We have a rented condo in a complex we have staying in before. Groceries, unpacking, bikes to set up.
Saturday we are heading to Coronado for package pickup/athlete check in for the Olympic Super Seal Triathlon that will be on Sunday. Nothing like kicking things off with a bang. The course looks breathtaking so I will try to take pictures.
A couple weeks for hiking, biking, running, sunning, Disneyland, Ducks Hockey, the famous "potato chip hike" are planned. Encinitas has a half marathon run on the weekend in between our 2 triathlons and I was yay at first then nay and I'm back again to a yay. Need to get in a 20-22 mile run that day so why no do it partly with a lot of people where there is some nutritional support and entertainment. Will see what my co-pilot wants to do. A couple long runs along the ocean will be 100 times better than the 3 hour run on the treadmill last Sunday.
Ironman Oceanside is on Saturday, April 1 and we will be flying back first thing Monday.
I have not decided yet if I am taking my computer so may have some posts or not in the next 2 weeks. I will have a couple race reports coming your way as well as some our adventures in SoCal.
Changing gears, I have until tomorrow to register (before fee increase) for an ultra in May. My biking friend from Actif Epica is registered and would like me (us) to come too. Hubby might be too busy doing his farming thing but he thinks I should go.
50 km, 50 mile, 100 km or 100 mile are my choices.
or maybe better said
silly, crazy, idiotic, or out of your freaking mind
hmm.
Will keep you posted.
If you are going on vacation in the next while- have a great time!!
Any tips/ places to eat/ places to go in the San Diego north area?
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Enjoying the Journey
Hello Monday after time change;(
Hard for me this morning and will continue to be for a couple weeks. Something about spring time change that throws off my circadian rhythm. And to really mess me up, I will be travelling at the end of this week with a time change 2 hours earlier. Back to my "regular" time plus 1 hour. Nuts.
Had a pretty good training weekend. Rode 25 miles on the trainer Sat morning then 22 miles outside on the fat bike that afternoon. I still freeze my butt all the time on the cold outside rides. I haven't found the right layering and recipe for keeping the thighs warmer. They sure were a bright red when I was done and hurt like heck. I am thinking to purchase a down skirt to wear overtop of what I am currently wearing.
I ran 18 miles on the treadmill on Sunday morning. All of my long runs have been outside so running on the treadmill was a big change. And my legs could tell the difference. The top thighs are SOOO sore. What gives?
How come there is never anything good on tv when you need there to be? It was the food channel and HGTV.
I did watch something amazing on my IPAD though.
I can't get the video link to show but it is a 1/2 hour film about Camilla Pedersen, a Danish triathlete entitiled: From Coma to Kona and can be watched HERE. It is really worth the watch.
I have always followed both Danish triathletes Camilla Pedersen and Michelle Vesterby. I met Michelle Vesterby at Ironman Oceanside in 2015. She impressed me with her easy going humour but I also loved the edge that she has that obviously makes her successful in her athletic pursuits. I had no idea that Camilla had been in a terrible bike accident that had her in a coma for almost 3 weeks and had a future prognosis of maybe being unable to walk. You need to watch the film!! No more spoilers from me.
On a completely different note, I had my first baby when I was 23 and was done with having babies when I was 29. I didn't do a ton of traveling before children but I did obviously have my own life and independence. And for those who have kids, they know, things change.
For a couple of my friends, the career path came first for them. They were jet-setting around the world for great vacations and working in really cool cities. They had adventure and their life seemed exciting and full-filling. At this same time, I had 3 kids under 4, had put my career on temporary hold, and spent my day doing thankless work (changing diapers, making meals, cleaning, playing with the children). You never really know about something until you actually go through it and I learned that having children was hard work physically but was pretty tough mentally also. I struggled a bit with how my husband still continued on his normal daily life path with socialization, encouragement, positive feedback and routine. These things were sometimes pretty scarce in my life. If you aren't careful, I think it could easily lead to friction between a couple. I was lonely sometimes. We had 1 vehicle and it wasn't the easiest getting 3 kids out the door so stopping over at someone's house for coffee was a rare occasion.
That's not to say I didn't have other choices I could have made. I was home taking care of my kids because that is where I wanted to be. But it was easy to forget the importance of what I was doing when I had changed the 8th dirty diaper for that day and it wasn't lunch time yet. Staying at home with children is super hard work. You get little appreciation, you clean a lot of messes and it seems like your former life is light years away.
When my jet setting, living life to the fullest best friend started her family life by getting married, we were both into our early 30's and my "date" to her wedding was my 5 year old son. It was planned for my husband and I to have a 4 day vacation together but 2 kids that got really sick last minute changed all that. And we had to roll with it. So my son and I had a brief visit with my friend and her fiancee the night before the wedding as the gathering was at a local lounge and I was asked to remove my son. At the wedding supper, we sat with lawyers, doctors and other very career oriented people and I did my best to fit in.
I was so glad I could go to be there for her special day, but I had never felt more left out, in the wrong place, alone and and overwhelming: when can I go home.
It's a terrible feeling when you don't feel like you belong where you are.
Fast forward a few years. My kids are no longer 7, 5, 5 and 1 but 12, 10,10 and 6. We are visiting my friend who now has a baby. Then 3 years later, another baby.
Our friendship has quietly faded as the years have progressed. She has expressed a frustration of how her life has her chained down, the kids are a lot of work and she isn't able to continue with her career and still have her free time that she had before. Her relationship with her husband is in hot water.
And worse is this resentment I feel towards me because I have freedom and am travelling and can pursue anything I wish to.
So, I am telling this story why? Because I think there are a lot of others who have these struggles I have faced (and my friend is facing) Women who are struggling with their training/free time, their careers, being down on themselves, feeling lonely. Dealing with never ending guilt that there doesn't seem to be enough of them to get around to everything they want to do. Ladies who love their kids but may be resentful of how life is challenging and has changed from what it was.
This quote has made a big difference in my perspective in life.
Everything has a time and place. We all find our place and time when it is right for us. There are a lot of things that are good but not all of them are good at that exact time. Everything we do requires some effort and some sacrifice. Priorities. There are times in our life when we can spend a lot of time pursuing things we want in the free time we have. There are also times when our careers demand longer hours for an extended period of time. Children also require sacrifice. Things will change. Change isn't bad for us. Helps us grow, helps us re-evaluate what is important to us.
So I spend more time focusing on what I have at this moment instead of looking at what I have left in the past or what I will eventually get in the future. This moment is precious. You may have to tell yourself that a million times in a day but it is so important to enjoy every moment.
Now that I have 3 kids that have moved away from the home, I look back with happiness at those quiet days of reading books, cuddling and bath time songs and it's funny but I don't so much remember doing dishes 4x a day, changing endless diapers, locking myself in the bathroom for a moment of peace only to have someone bang on it 2 sec after I get in. And interestingly enough, those tough times make me smile now. I think "Oh boy how did I get through that".
I chose to put my career on the back burner. And now I have a really fulfilling job that I never would have imagined I would have.
My exercise was with my kids by pushing them in the stroller, riding bikes through the puddles, hiking, fishing and swimming and now I am competing in ultras, marathons and Ironman distance triathlons. And my kids are active as well.
So many people are involved in exercise with the "running from or running to" approach. They are either running from their job or home stress or running to a certain time on the clock in an event.
My question then is....what is happening in between?
I'm not saying that exercise isn't a great way to get some of your own time or that running a marathon to qualify for Boston isn't great either. I do these things too.
What I am saying is that if your whole focus for what you are doing is escaping something or running to a certain time- eventually, something's gonna give.
There is so much validation in triathlon, running etc. You nail a workout- you feel good. You get the time you want in an event- you feel awesome.
The danger in this for me for a short time was that it became one thing after another of me trying to get another "hit" of validation, appreciation and self-worth.
Racing for about 3 years with a serious infection (didn't know it until later) changed all this. For most of that 3 years, I felt pretty terrible. I would get so discouraged with the training and especially with racing as I never could do what I thought I was capable of doing. I got some serious criticism, was told I don't belong in competitive sports as I was just a participant. But I weathered this all with the believe that what I was doing mattered, I mattered.
I was no longer running to get away from stress because the runs were stressful too and I didn't compete for a certain number because my body would not cooperate. So I ran and biked and walked and skied and kayaked and swam and whatever else caught my fancy for joy, for adventure, for the journey and for fun.
It wasn't about the start or the finish anymore but about the parts in between. I am still a bad ass about some events/races. But I roll with things better too. I am enjoying where I am.
If you are dealing with puke and poop, enjoy it. If you are working big hours for a career, enjoy it and if you are somewhere cruising on a boat on vacation, enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever and what have we got in the end if at a lot of points in our life we are waiting for the next thing or longing for once was.
Hard for me this morning and will continue to be for a couple weeks. Something about spring time change that throws off my circadian rhythm. And to really mess me up, I will be travelling at the end of this week with a time change 2 hours earlier. Back to my "regular" time plus 1 hour. Nuts.
Had a pretty good training weekend. Rode 25 miles on the trainer Sat morning then 22 miles outside on the fat bike that afternoon. I still freeze my butt all the time on the cold outside rides. I haven't found the right layering and recipe for keeping the thighs warmer. They sure were a bright red when I was done and hurt like heck. I am thinking to purchase a down skirt to wear overtop of what I am currently wearing.
I ran 18 miles on the treadmill on Sunday morning. All of my long runs have been outside so running on the treadmill was a big change. And my legs could tell the difference. The top thighs are SOOO sore. What gives?
How come there is never anything good on tv when you need there to be? It was the food channel and HGTV.
I did watch something amazing on my IPAD though.
I can't get the video link to show but it is a 1/2 hour film about Camilla Pedersen, a Danish triathlete entitiled: From Coma to Kona and can be watched HERE. It is really worth the watch.
I have always followed both Danish triathletes Camilla Pedersen and Michelle Vesterby. I met Michelle Vesterby at Ironman Oceanside in 2015. She impressed me with her easy going humour but I also loved the edge that she has that obviously makes her successful in her athletic pursuits. I had no idea that Camilla had been in a terrible bike accident that had her in a coma for almost 3 weeks and had a future prognosis of maybe being unable to walk. You need to watch the film!! No more spoilers from me.
On a completely different note, I had my first baby when I was 23 and was done with having babies when I was 29. I didn't do a ton of traveling before children but I did obviously have my own life and independence. And for those who have kids, they know, things change.
For a couple of my friends, the career path came first for them. They were jet-setting around the world for great vacations and working in really cool cities. They had adventure and their life seemed exciting and full-filling. At this same time, I had 3 kids under 4, had put my career on temporary hold, and spent my day doing thankless work (changing diapers, making meals, cleaning, playing with the children). You never really know about something until you actually go through it and I learned that having children was hard work physically but was pretty tough mentally also. I struggled a bit with how my husband still continued on his normal daily life path with socialization, encouragement, positive feedback and routine. These things were sometimes pretty scarce in my life. If you aren't careful, I think it could easily lead to friction between a couple. I was lonely sometimes. We had 1 vehicle and it wasn't the easiest getting 3 kids out the door so stopping over at someone's house for coffee was a rare occasion.
That's not to say I didn't have other choices I could have made. I was home taking care of my kids because that is where I wanted to be. But it was easy to forget the importance of what I was doing when I had changed the 8th dirty diaper for that day and it wasn't lunch time yet. Staying at home with children is super hard work. You get little appreciation, you clean a lot of messes and it seems like your former life is light years away.
When my jet setting, living life to the fullest best friend started her family life by getting married, we were both into our early 30's and my "date" to her wedding was my 5 year old son. It was planned for my husband and I to have a 4 day vacation together but 2 kids that got really sick last minute changed all that. And we had to roll with it. So my son and I had a brief visit with my friend and her fiancee the night before the wedding as the gathering was at a local lounge and I was asked to remove my son. At the wedding supper, we sat with lawyers, doctors and other very career oriented people and I did my best to fit in.
I was so glad I could go to be there for her special day, but I had never felt more left out, in the wrong place, alone and and overwhelming: when can I go home.
It's a terrible feeling when you don't feel like you belong where you are.
Fast forward a few years. My kids are no longer 7, 5, 5 and 1 but 12, 10,10 and 6. We are visiting my friend who now has a baby. Then 3 years later, another baby.
Our friendship has quietly faded as the years have progressed. She has expressed a frustration of how her life has her chained down, the kids are a lot of work and she isn't able to continue with her career and still have her free time that she had before. Her relationship with her husband is in hot water.
And worse is this resentment I feel towards me because I have freedom and am travelling and can pursue anything I wish to.
So, I am telling this story why? Because I think there are a lot of others who have these struggles I have faced (and my friend is facing) Women who are struggling with their training/free time, their careers, being down on themselves, feeling lonely. Dealing with never ending guilt that there doesn't seem to be enough of them to get around to everything they want to do. Ladies who love their kids but may be resentful of how life is challenging and has changed from what it was.
This quote has made a big difference in my perspective in life.
Everything has a time and place. We all find our place and time when it is right for us. There are a lot of things that are good but not all of them are good at that exact time. Everything we do requires some effort and some sacrifice. Priorities. There are times in our life when we can spend a lot of time pursuing things we want in the free time we have. There are also times when our careers demand longer hours for an extended period of time. Children also require sacrifice. Things will change. Change isn't bad for us. Helps us grow, helps us re-evaluate what is important to us.
So I spend more time focusing on what I have at this moment instead of looking at what I have left in the past or what I will eventually get in the future. This moment is precious. You may have to tell yourself that a million times in a day but it is so important to enjoy every moment.
Now that I have 3 kids that have moved away from the home, I look back with happiness at those quiet days of reading books, cuddling and bath time songs and it's funny but I don't so much remember doing dishes 4x a day, changing endless diapers, locking myself in the bathroom for a moment of peace only to have someone bang on it 2 sec after I get in. And interestingly enough, those tough times make me smile now. I think "Oh boy how did I get through that".
I chose to put my career on the back burner. And now I have a really fulfilling job that I never would have imagined I would have.
My exercise was with my kids by pushing them in the stroller, riding bikes through the puddles, hiking, fishing and swimming and now I am competing in ultras, marathons and Ironman distance triathlons. And my kids are active as well.
So many people are involved in exercise with the "running from or running to" approach. They are either running from their job or home stress or running to a certain time on the clock in an event.
My question then is....what is happening in between?
I'm not saying that exercise isn't a great way to get some of your own time or that running a marathon to qualify for Boston isn't great either. I do these things too.
What I am saying is that if your whole focus for what you are doing is escaping something or running to a certain time- eventually, something's gonna give.
There is so much validation in triathlon, running etc. You nail a workout- you feel good. You get the time you want in an event- you feel awesome.
The danger in this for me for a short time was that it became one thing after another of me trying to get another "hit" of validation, appreciation and self-worth.
Racing for about 3 years with a serious infection (didn't know it until later) changed all this. For most of that 3 years, I felt pretty terrible. I would get so discouraged with the training and especially with racing as I never could do what I thought I was capable of doing. I got some serious criticism, was told I don't belong in competitive sports as I was just a participant. But I weathered this all with the believe that what I was doing mattered, I mattered.
I was no longer running to get away from stress because the runs were stressful too and I didn't compete for a certain number because my body would not cooperate. So I ran and biked and walked and skied and kayaked and swam and whatever else caught my fancy for joy, for adventure, for the journey and for fun.
It wasn't about the start or the finish anymore but about the parts in between. I am still a bad ass about some events/races. But I roll with things better too. I am enjoying where I am.
If you are dealing with puke and poop, enjoy it. If you are working big hours for a career, enjoy it and if you are somewhere cruising on a boat on vacation, enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever and what have we got in the end if at a lot of points in our life we are waiting for the next thing or longing for once was.
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